Prayer

Yesterday this time I was a mess. I've been getting ready to query an agent, and I want so badly for it to go well. I was getting more an more nervous the closer I got to being ready.
So I asked a friend in humor if it was wrong to fast to get my book published, and she said it wasn't, and she was going to pray for me anyway.
So I asked a few other friends for prayers, and prayed myself and I feel so very muc better. There is just the slightest twinge of nerves now. Not even what I feel getting up to speak in church.

Lord, thank you for this unforseen answer to my rather selfish prayer.

Zumba and fruit

I went to Zumba tonight with Tali. We were both red in the face and drenched in sweat when we got done, but we had fun. I love that I can learn new dance moves and call it exercise. I love that there is exercise fun enough my kid can get into it with me.

Lord, thank you for Zumba.

We just fly through fruit in this house. I buy so many bananas, apples, and oranges in a month that I really should have my own farm. I love that my kids like fruit and that I have it on hand for them to eat.

Lord, thank you for fruit, and that we live in a place where it is so readily available.

Patience

Tonight was a tough night. We managed, but it was rough. It's a terrible feeling when you can't console a little one. She was tired, and the room was noisey, and there just wasn't much more we could do. Then all at once the other children checked out, and she went to sleep right away.

I'm just thankful that I can handle it as long as I do. I wasn't always able to. I guess in a way patience is just knowing that it won't last forever and then doing what it takes to make it.

Lord, thank you for teaching me patience over the years.

Swapping kids

Some wards really discourage kids sitting with anyone beside their family during Sacrament Meeting. I can see the reasoning behind it, but I'm thankful that our ward isn't like that. Today my oldest sat with a famliy who just moved in the ward. She likes thier teenage girl. My son sat with his Primary teacher. My youngest sat on the same row as me, but was really sitting most of the time with "Grandma and Grandpa Bambarger" and "Aunt" Tanya. This left me free to help the Bishops wife with her kids. When I say help I mean steal the baby who was so excited to see me that I got THREE big slobbery open mouth kisses.

Lord, thank you so much for a ward that is like a famliy. Thank you for that little boy who brightens my Sundays. Thank you for a teacher who loves James. Thank you for getting to sub for the singing time leader. Thank you for today.

Catch up, again

This past weekend was General Conference. I love General Conference, and I hate that I never get to listen to all the sessions as they happen. Life gets in the way.

This time however, I really felt that God was telling me it was okay, that He understood.

After the Saturday Morning session I had to get my kids from my mother-in-laws, only to find out as I walked out the door that she needed me to do a bunch of things for her when I got there. So I changed into work clothes and went. I hemmed some curtains, mitered some wood for a window cornice, it wasn't much, it was just time consuming. I got to spend time with her husband though, and I don't get to do that often. He cracks me up because he says a lot without saying anything, and when I say exactly what he was thinking his eyes twinkle while we laugh.

Then I had to work right after the Sunday morning session. The parents of the only two kids that came picked up the kids early, so I cleaned and went to clock out. I was ready to leave when a co-worker from another area came to gossip with the front desk girl.

"You'll never guess what we found in the ball box outside the youth gym," he says as I hurry for the door, "A Mormon Bible." I stopped dead in my tracks. I inquired what he did with it, and discovered the person he had given it to had placed it on a shelf by the front desk. As I went to check the inside cover for a name he said he didn't know any Mormons.

I laughed and then ticked off four he knew, and still didn't list all the LDS people that have a connection to my work. (I don't know how he didn't know I was LDS. The missionaries are constantly telling me they tracted into yet another person who said, "Yeah I know a Mormon, Thora is one.")

This opened up a great opportunity for me though, because I was able to have pleasant, long conversations with both him and the front desk girl about the church. I don't know if anything will come of it, but it was a rare treat to be able to answer questions in an area where there is a lot of anti stuff built into the curriculums of other churches.

It's hard, emotionally, for me to work on Sunday, especially when I have to miss Conference to do it, but it was like God was sending me a message that he understands and will bless my efforts because he knows my heart is in the right place.

Lord, thank you for blessing me so abundantly when my should's aren't happening and letting me know that my best is good enough. Thank you for giving me that time with someone who may not be around much longer. Thank you that somehow, someway, you've made me into a person who isn't a complete embarrassment to the church. Thank you for the calm nerves and the open hearts. Thank you for believing in me.

Oh and also, thank you for the new stainless steel, lighted hanging pot rack that Joe hung for today me for my upcoming birthday. I don't know how many angels you had to send to get him to remember I have wanted one for years, but I love it, and I love all the work he put into putting it up for me.

Sara

I'm far too tired to think back and write the things I'm thankful for over the last few days, so I'm going to get to the important one. One day over seven years ago a new girl came to my Internet board, and we hit it off. I would never have guessed how much she would mean to me, or how much we would go through with each other. Sometimes I wonder why she puts up with me, she does so much to get me back on track sometimes, and I'm not as good of a friend as she is. I'm so thankful I have her. Lord, Thank you for Sara and for the special bond that we share on a level so many wouldn't understand. Happy Birthday Sara love.

My mom

I'm sitting here trying to write a query letter to send in to literary agents. I seem to have no trouble turning out 70k+ words, I've done that four times, but this one page query letter is much harder. The dread is almost paralyzing. It's times like these I'm thankful for my mom. You see, she taught me to sew, she taught me how to change the oil, she taught me to use my nose when seasoning food, but most of all she taught me that I can do anything I set my mind to. Then she proved the validity of her belief to me by setting her own lofty goals and then reaching them. So, I'm going to keep writing until I get it right, because I can do this, I have all the talent and tenacity it takes. Lord, thank you for my mom. (Happy Birthday Mom)