Sunday, December 12, 2010

Seeing beauty

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and by logical extension ugliness lives inside us too. I have long been of the opinion that we can change what we see by deliberately choosing to see what we want to see. I made that choice, I choose to see beauty.
(True, I have seen ugliness rear it's head in the intervening years, and it disturbs me, because I see it as part of me, something I must heal or correct. If I were as perfect as I wish to be nothing would be ugly, for I would have charity toward every soul and see evil as the symptom it is and not a state of being.
I digress.)
I find it rather amusing when I see in people's eyes that they think I am naive, that I lack in experience or mental capacity to comprehend that things are not all rose petals and feathery clouds. I just laugh inside because I think the thorns on a rose are more beautiful than the petals, and that storm clouds are what all clouds want to grow up to be.
For I am that rose, and I am that storm, I am also the one who bleeds and the one caught in the torrent, I have the capacity to understand all of this, and yet I still see beauty in it all.
I know going on like this you might expect me next to pronounce that I am the supreme ruler and all wise, but that's not what I'm trying to say.
I'm saying... oh how do I say what I am saying?
I'm saying that I'm thankful that I am open-minded, or open-hearted (because the poor term open-minded has been twisted by those who are rootless and swayed by every wind.) I'm saying I'm glad that I see beauty everywhere, in the bright yellow leaves against the dark wet road, and in the pain that brings a soul closer to the path. I'm thankful that in choosing to see beauty I am really seeing God's hand in all things, or at least in things I missed before. I'm thankful that every day I am greeted by unspeakable beauty that SHOUTS God's love for us.

Oh, how I wish everyone could see what I see.

Lord, thank you, thank you for leading me to the point where I see beauty.

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